LEARN TO CONTROL THE THINGS YOU CAN....

Most of the things that happen to us in life are beyond our control, you know those unexpected situations when life hands you lemons, we all know  life happens and you have to deal with what you have been dealt, make the most of the situation you find yourself in, and do your out most best to not allow it to define you; rise above it all and come out unscathed  because we are not our situations right? well, not always but yeah.

This type of positive thinking is not always easy to accomplish, well actually its one of the hardest thing to do, give the other cheek when you have already been smacked hard, because things can go from bad to worse and you are just standing there thinking damn and you don't know what else to do except to wallow and pity yourself. What else can you do when the only thing you can smell is that all too familiar smell of defeat?! This thought came to me after I had posted a workout video online today and I received positive feedback, on how I'm taking this working out business seriously, and it had me thinking, well, exercising  falls within the realms of things I CAN control, its one of the things I do to take charge of my life, things that are withing my reach and require only positive action from me, so why shouldn't I do it? We spend countless hours, every minute of everyday actually obsessing over what may or may not happen, this is why we are so stressed and volatile as people, we are always worried about the unknown. 

Imagine for a second what would happen if you decide to take charge of the things you can and leave the rest to God, cause what else can you do right? Like I have already stated above life happens and you don't know what tomorrow has in store for you, but somethings don't have to happen to you, you can take charge and be in control, you can decide that you are going to live consciously  and stop going through the emotions, you will be vocal in your life and express dissatisfaction when you are not treated fairly, you will do more of the things you love and learn to put yourself first more often, you will invest in yourself and learn a new skill, you will be mindful of everything that you consume, you will take an active role in your health and well being, you will be kind to yourself, cause how else are others going to learn if you don't lead the way?

There are things that do not require the help of others or money for that matter they just require us to see the need and make time and follow through, keep the promises we make to ourselves, and not only talk about doing things but actually do them. You don't need money to express love to those around you, you just have to do it, with your actions, and I'm not talking  grand gestures and expensive gifts, a mere " I see all that you are doing and appreciate your efforts" is all that is needed at times to stop someone from going through the rails. The little things that mean the most, and have the biggest impact...

The key to getting anything done is your willingness to want do it for yourself first and foremost, other people should wager in as sources of motivation that keep you strong when the going gets tough, because if you just doing it for others and not yourself, when that sacrificial feeling leaves you, you will just abandon ship and move on to other things,  external motivation is not easily sustainable, always fleeting, of course this doesn't apply to everything because sometimes, actually often times its about doing what benefits others first and you second, and also things aren't always that clear cut and black and white, so the decision is not always so easy to make.

So my stance is this as I am writing this blog and sharing my thoughts with you, you have no control over your mortality or that of your loved ones, you cannot control the weather and you cannot control how others treat you, so because of these reasons and some that are known to you, this is why its important that we always try with all our might to control the things that we can control, things that don't require the assistance of others or money.  Money is always at the root of why we are unable to fulfill our promises to ourselves and others or see what we have started to the end, this is why we  need to pay special mind to the things that matter to us the most and may not necessarily matter to others,  things that make our eyes wonder and our hearts flutter, things that make you dream without reservations because for once you are living outside the bounds of reality and what may or not be possible given your situation, things that transport you back to childhood, to a time when you didn't know any better so you were inclined to follow your imagination and disregard reason, because life hadn't happened to you yet. Things that make you happy... Those are the things you need to control and take charge of.

Control those things that grow you...

SOLVE FOR ....

Ever look at life and think to yourself there must be a mean kid pulling the strings and undoing everything that I tried to do? Why does it seem like part of being a human being and figuring this life thing out can be compared to trying to solve a Rubik’s cube and you happen to be blindfolded? Being a human being is made even more difficult by the fact that we refuse to be who we truly are, so we wake up each morning and put on a performance, We can barely manage or control our emotions, we don’t always know what we want, and when we do figure out what we want, it’s because someone else convinced us that, that’s what we need …what is up with that. Obviously this is not everyone there are individuals who have make a conscious effort every day to be true to themselves and their dreams despite what society dictates.

 I often wonder what other creatures that perhaps have a superior intellect in comparison to us think when they are looking down on us (this is assuming that such exists).the reason I say looking down is because humans look down on animals, we believe we matter, we are above them, and our abusive and negligent behavior is proof of this, Very few of us see them as living creatures. As humans we are able to make distinctions between human and animal behavior, and when a fellow human being doesn't act in accordance with what other humans deem appropriate behavior, we label such a person an “animal”. This is not always a fair assessment as animals possess greater emotional intelligence that a lot of humans are without.  Half the time I would rather deal with animals that people because animals unlike people will never switch up on you, there will never be a time where a sheep will eat meat. Human beings are one thing today and tomorrow they are something totally different. I know a person adapts to situations as they play out, but I’m most certainly sure this by no means entails being a chameleon

The problem with us humans is that the world is at our feet we are spoilt for choice, variety is most definitely spicing up our lives. We are always looking for the next big amazing, mind-blowing thing that will complete and fill all the voids that form part of our makeup. Voids that are there on purpose and the only way each of us will be able to fill them is by being real with ourselves. There are so many nooks and crannies within every single one of us, where the truth about what is making us empty lies embedded, but because so many of us are not yet ready to go searching in those nooks, we want everything we lay our eyes on, hoping that it will fill the voids and we won’t have to make that trip to faraway land.

 The newly acquired piece doesn't always fit the puzzle, if it does it’s only momentarily, the feeling wears off and we find ourselves right where we started. We are known to want what others have not because of need, just so they are not the only ones in possession of whatever our eyes saw, now you have what the other person has but you are still unhappy, it doesn't paint your soul with all shades of wonderful. You remain empty. people who let go of worldly possessions and choose to live much simpler lives have been reported to lead fulfilling lives, they  care about the needs of others and realize that we are all connected ,and as such our paths will cross from time to time, so the best thing that one can do for their peace of mind is to live in harmony with others, to give only of yourself what will be useful to others, to be kind to yourself every day and to make a concerted effort to heal the places in you that have experienced unkind treatment in the past, to remind yourself that , you matter, write it on a wall somewhere in your house if you have to. To learn a new skill and follow through with every single thing you start no matter how small or insignificant I may be, if it’s important to you that’s all that matters, other people should cheer you on or render support, whatever you require of them. Celebrate each success, get lost in the moment and allow it to envelope you, do not dismiss it as we often do and last but not least give yourself permission to be happy, you are allowed.

ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF???

This is Rea in the picture , my 2 and half year old (terrorist) who is full of life, vigor and fire, a true Arian. see just how happy and unapologetic she is with how she is feeling ? When I took that picture of her she was really, really happy, so much that she was drooling, but she didn't care about what i thought she continued to laugh. 

Ever take the time to ask yourself this question? "Am I happy with myself?" That's a line from one of Beyonce's songs titled "PRETTY HURTS" that songs speaks to a lot of things we tend to ignore and overlook as people while we busy with our to-do lists (listen to it when you get a chance) I  decided to ask myself this question, "Am I happy with myself ?" Am I happy with what is happening in my life, with how things are going, with the person I am becoming?! I believe this is a question we all ought to be asking ourselves, sit down quietly, comfortably and think about your state of happiness as it stands, currently. How do you feel about you outside of things and other people? It is important that you are really honest with yourself in this regard, you have to block everything else out, YOU should be the  main focus. 

 A lot of times we tend to associate happiness with things that are outside of us; forming attachments, belonging to a circle, purchasing something we have been coveting over for months. we have reduced it to acquiring and hoarding things, its not about that, far from it really. This is why feelings brought on by these things are fleeting, compelling us to go searching again for the next IT thing. 

I believe that when you have peace within, when all is well with your soul , your mind is not racing , you are not anxious or stressing about anything , you have an attitude of gratitude, you are closer to ultimate happiness than most people. Now for the cherry on top, surround yourself with people who challenge, encourage and cheer you on, this is the next next step to getting yourself to a state of true happiness, forming attachments with solid people who are free of toxic negativity that erodes the soul. Boy are those hard to come by, the world is filled with people who think being sad is a thing, sadness has been trending for years now.

Spend time alone, quiet the mind and listen to the voice of God (insert dramatic music here), yes the voice of God. The voice of God for me is the answers I receive when I am alone, silent , lying down and just breathing. controlled breathing is a hallucinogen of note, try it sometime, the natural high is unmatched. Anyway,  I found that I find the answers to questions that have been plaguing my mind without even trying when I am in this state. Its as though I can hear a voice whispering in my ear, telling me exactly what it is I need to do to overcome whatever obstacle standing in my way. This is when I then realized that God does speak to us all the time   we are just too busy to slow down and listen. We fill our lives with clutter and senseless chores that take away from living ,we just go through it.

With a change in attitude, mindset and how we treat ourselves, relate to others and contribute to the world, happiness is within reach. We don't have to act like we are OK, and hope that no one interrupts our performance as we immerse ourselves in sadness. Soon as you open your door, the sadness of the world is right there to greet you and fill you with despair, you don't even have to search, pain will find you. This is why its important that each of us, define what happiness means to us individually, without making the opinions of others points of reference we always consider before we make a move, to be bold enough to listen to our hearts and pursue our passions. Passions mirror to us what our souls need to be happy, this is why we find such fulfillment when we pursue them. So be honest with yourself, search your soul, forget about whats on the outside for a bit and tend to your inner being.

Nurse your heart, nurture your soul and nourish your mind with what brings you peace, then you would have unlocked the key to happiness. You wont have to look to others to do that for you, they will be adding to what already exists. 

Its all love :)

When you're alone all by yourself (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
And you're lying in your bed (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
Reflection stares right into you (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
Are you happy with yourself? (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)

You stripped away the masquerade (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
The illusion has been shed (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
Are you happy with yourself? (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
Are you happy with yourself? (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)