WHERE IS SHE??

I used to know a place where I could find her, I would search and she would be there. Her smile would radiate such warmth that any room would light up she had a presence with her that would make even a commoner feel like royalty. The way she carried herself made purity appealing, sexy and enchanting. She always spoke her mind and shared herself with the world. Her face always displayed the love she felt and the love she shared with those around her, she understood herself.
In her eyes you could get lost and experience the many folds that represent her embedded soul, her face was an open display of all that she lives for and holds dear , the lines on her face represented the journey she has travelled. The times and places that captured her spirit once upon a time, her mouth spoke of all the love she had experienced all the men that loved her but never understood her. All the admirers that saw the cover but never bothered to read the book, the man that held her heart captive and brought the twinkle in her eye brought out her loving warm nature, he made her lose herself and be free. Now I look, wonder and search as I ask myself where she is? Where could she possibly have disappeared to?
All I see is fading tracks that suggest that she had been here, she once occupied this apace, dwelled in it and filled it with herself, her spirit, her captivating scent and her child like charm. She was gone now and nowhere to be found. Her presence has become memories of a life once lived, she ceased to exist her life was now a tall tale full of uncertainties. Her smile faded and the sparkle in her eyes was gone, the lines on her face now carried scars, wounds and broken promises that now envelope her existence. She once knew the yearnings of her soul, the deep desires that embodied her heart a fire that used to surround her and set her spirit alight had been reduced to ashes.
The men that once claimed to love her now sees her as frail old and cold, she was now an empty shell that had nothing to offer or so she thought. Her admirers had now turned into mockers that rejoiced and marvelled at her tortured soul, they hang around even when she didn’t want company when she desperately sought after solitude and peace of mind; they wouldn’t allow her to rest them posed questions that needed answers that only she could offer. This interrogation left her distraught she was weak, frail and scared.
Life has become a chore on a do to list a mundane task that takes away all her energy and doesn’t recharge her again. As she looked straight in the mirror and confronted herself she realised that she forgot herself, she looked at herself truthfully and honestly for the first time in a long time without preset opinions of what other people think she should be. She saw the positive that surrounded her and forgot about the negative they beat her down with. She stopped denying her age as she realised she was erasing all the memories that made her what she was, the lessons she learned and the discoveries that aided in some of her life’s decisions.
It dawned on her she had always been there, she had stopped a long time ago to see herself, spend time with herself and appreciate the wonder that she is. Once again she knew the answer to the question that desperately plagued her thoughts, she knew WHERE SHE WAS!

Love or sex??

I was facebookin earlier today and i saw a status by some gal sayn"she wants to fuck for fun"that comment had me thnking.more and more women are expressing such views lately,they are breaking the norm,following their desires and to a point acting like "men".
are men to blame for the recent actions of women?or hav we always been this way we just plucked up enough courage to be ourselfs or are we just lying to ourselves by thnking such behaviour wil ever be acceptable by society.
it is clear that of late women go into relationships just for the pleasure of sexual pleasure,where they dont expect love,kids,a house a cat,dog and a goldfish..they are just after the thrill of an encounter with a man they probably just met.
for the other majority that want what society expects us to have as a true definition of a well balanced life,what matters to them most in relationships??and if people were made to choose between LOVE AND SEX which one would they place the most value on.would they rather be with someone whom they love and who loves them back bt doesnt reli satisfy their sexual needs or they would rather hav the best sex dependin on what that entails for each individual and minimal emotinal fulfilment.
are we driven by the same thngs as men and women or are somethngs due to preferance,enviroment or nature.do we all gravitate towards the same thngs and is itthe response that differs?for that select few that have the best of both worlds what secrets arent they sharin with everyone else.will we eva get to a point where wmen wont be crucified for their sexuality and men nt mocked for their comitnent to1woman.wil we eva live to see the day were our eyebrows wnt be raised when a woman says she just wants to "fuck for fun" n nt atribute her decision to low morals,bad influence or delusion.or is that all farfetched?

the green monster

We all knw that feeling that everyone gets but no one proudly admits to.at times its hard to figure out or evn undastand when is it acceptable for a person to display this feeling.even though that is the case it has been associated with other strong feelings-love,anger,hate,envy,lust to name but a few.
it is somehow expected and strangely accepted if you love someone and you display it every once in a while.the problem only starts when it is displayed in large volumes,when it takes over ones life,their thought processes,decision makin and general relation to others.Can jealousy be a higher form of love,the whole belief that too much love will kill you or ir that statement misguided on its own.love is caring and kind and any negative emotion or action that people associate with love represents somethng else..anyway..a number of reasons have been given for this erratic behaviour,a lot of the times people are jealous of you because they envy what you have and thus wish they were in your shoes.with that being said how do u continue to relate to people who in essence wish everythng that you have,every good thing happening to you was happening to them?

can love really look beyond human error or in reality no one is trully ever happy for another,people pretend so good that their fake smiles gurantee us they are truly genuine with us,or we just overlook the obvious because we care about the relationshps we have and we fear being alone in the world. on the surface should we be "flattered" when someone is jealous of us is it a deep sighted way of saying you are on the right track?
or should it be a warning sign that one should cut their losses,although it might be cute now it will surely end in disaster.or is jealousy one of the truest reflection of how people really feel and everything else in between is faked?

caught up!!

its amazing how the older you get the harder it is to trully voice your thoughts and share your opinions.you some how have to learn to find a vessel that you will use to somehow clear your conscious and filter your soul,a vessel only known to you,and at the best of times it doesnt help your mental and emotional healing.its a temporary solution to an ongoing need to connect and relate to someone,if everything was to pile up without ever being unloaded somewhere even if its not much,we will all be walking time bombs

as hard as it is to be real and trully vocal it is even harder to be vocal with our loved ones.you feel carrying the daily burdens on your own ,wil l make them less real as you dont have to relive them each time you share them with someone..sooner rather than later the silence becomes too much for you to handle,still u suffer in solitude.caught up with no escape,who will stop to look long enough to realise your falling apart and save you from your mental slavery...rescue pending till then you remain caught up

im so happy for you...not

its amazing how hard it is lately to be trully happy and share your emotions with your closest friends and loved ones about your life experinces and special moments.theres always feelings of bitterness,anger and hate just lingering in the air.when you display your true emotions you are seen as showing off and not being sensitive to other peoples feelings and their current situations,you have to underplay your joy cause you dont wanna hurt your friends feelings because she is having man issues...now you have to fake your happiness.its clear when you look at them how painful it is for them,how they wish it was them and how quick they are to point out to you yea we get it you are so happy...why so much hate??

there's reason a lot of people are so unhappy is because they are never trully happy for other people..their too full of resentment to invite happiness into their lives....so heres my thought stop hating and trying to shine on other peoples moments and just let them enjoy their special moments,in so doing you are opening the doors to your own joyous moments,besides these moments are usually short lived...