LEARN TO CONTROL THE THINGS YOU CAN....

Most of the things that happen to us in life are beyond our control, you know those unexpected situations when life hands you lemons, we all know  life happens and you have to deal with what you have been dealt, make the most of the situation you find yourself in, and do your out most best to not allow it to define you; rise above it all and come out unscathed  because we are not our situations right? well, not always but yeah.

This type of positive thinking is not always easy to accomplish, well actually its one of the hardest thing to do, give the other cheek when you have already been smacked hard, because things can go from bad to worse and you are just standing there thinking damn and you don't know what else to do except to wallow and pity yourself. What else can you do when the only thing you can smell is that all too familiar smell of defeat?! This thought came to me after I had posted a workout video online today and I received positive feedback, on how I'm taking this working out business seriously, and it had me thinking, well, exercising  falls within the realms of things I CAN control, its one of the things I do to take charge of my life, things that are withing my reach and require only positive action from me, so why shouldn't I do it? We spend countless hours, every minute of everyday actually obsessing over what may or may not happen, this is why we are so stressed and volatile as people, we are always worried about the unknown. 

Imagine for a second what would happen if you decide to take charge of the things you can and leave the rest to God, cause what else can you do right? Like I have already stated above life happens and you don't know what tomorrow has in store for you, but somethings don't have to happen to you, you can take charge and be in control, you can decide that you are going to live consciously  and stop going through the emotions, you will be vocal in your life and express dissatisfaction when you are not treated fairly, you will do more of the things you love and learn to put yourself first more often, you will invest in yourself and learn a new skill, you will be mindful of everything that you consume, you will take an active role in your health and well being, you will be kind to yourself, cause how else are others going to learn if you don't lead the way?

There are things that do not require the help of others or money for that matter they just require us to see the need and make time and follow through, keep the promises we make to ourselves, and not only talk about doing things but actually do them. You don't need money to express love to those around you, you just have to do it, with your actions, and I'm not talking  grand gestures and expensive gifts, a mere " I see all that you are doing and appreciate your efforts" is all that is needed at times to stop someone from going through the rails. The little things that mean the most, and have the biggest impact...

The key to getting anything done is your willingness to want do it for yourself first and foremost, other people should wager in as sources of motivation that keep you strong when the going gets tough, because if you just doing it for others and not yourself, when that sacrificial feeling leaves you, you will just abandon ship and move on to other things,  external motivation is not easily sustainable, always fleeting, of course this doesn't apply to everything because sometimes, actually often times its about doing what benefits others first and you second, and also things aren't always that clear cut and black and white, so the decision is not always so easy to make.

So my stance is this as I am writing this blog and sharing my thoughts with you, you have no control over your mortality or that of your loved ones, you cannot control the weather and you cannot control how others treat you, so because of these reasons and some that are known to you, this is why its important that we always try with all our might to control the things that we can control, things that don't require the assistance of others or money.  Money is always at the root of why we are unable to fulfill our promises to ourselves and others or see what we have started to the end, this is why we  need to pay special mind to the things that matter to us the most and may not necessarily matter to others,  things that make our eyes wonder and our hearts flutter, things that make you dream without reservations because for once you are living outside the bounds of reality and what may or not be possible given your situation, things that transport you back to childhood, to a time when you didn't know any better so you were inclined to follow your imagination and disregard reason, because life hadn't happened to you yet. Things that make you happy... Those are the things you need to control and take charge of.

Control those things that grow you...

ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF???

This is Rea in the picture , my 2 and half year old (terrorist) who is full of life, vigor and fire, a true Arian. see just how happy and unapologetic she is with how she is feeling ? When I took that picture of her she was really, really happy, so much that she was drooling, but she didn't care about what i thought she continued to laugh. 

Ever take the time to ask yourself this question? "Am I happy with myself?" That's a line from one of Beyonce's songs titled "PRETTY HURTS" that songs speaks to a lot of things we tend to ignore and overlook as people while we busy with our to-do lists (listen to it when you get a chance) I  decided to ask myself this question, "Am I happy with myself ?" Am I happy with what is happening in my life, with how things are going, with the person I am becoming?! I believe this is a question we all ought to be asking ourselves, sit down quietly, comfortably and think about your state of happiness as it stands, currently. How do you feel about you outside of things and other people? It is important that you are really honest with yourself in this regard, you have to block everything else out, YOU should be the  main focus. 

 A lot of times we tend to associate happiness with things that are outside of us; forming attachments, belonging to a circle, purchasing something we have been coveting over for months. we have reduced it to acquiring and hoarding things, its not about that, far from it really. This is why feelings brought on by these things are fleeting, compelling us to go searching again for the next IT thing. 

I believe that when you have peace within, when all is well with your soul , your mind is not racing , you are not anxious or stressing about anything , you have an attitude of gratitude, you are closer to ultimate happiness than most people. Now for the cherry on top, surround yourself with people who challenge, encourage and cheer you on, this is the next next step to getting yourself to a state of true happiness, forming attachments with solid people who are free of toxic negativity that erodes the soul. Boy are those hard to come by, the world is filled with people who think being sad is a thing, sadness has been trending for years now.

Spend time alone, quiet the mind and listen to the voice of God (insert dramatic music here), yes the voice of God. The voice of God for me is the answers I receive when I am alone, silent , lying down and just breathing. controlled breathing is a hallucinogen of note, try it sometime, the natural high is unmatched. Anyway,  I found that I find the answers to questions that have been plaguing my mind without even trying when I am in this state. Its as though I can hear a voice whispering in my ear, telling me exactly what it is I need to do to overcome whatever obstacle standing in my way. This is when I then realized that God does speak to us all the time   we are just too busy to slow down and listen. We fill our lives with clutter and senseless chores that take away from living ,we just go through it.

With a change in attitude, mindset and how we treat ourselves, relate to others and contribute to the world, happiness is within reach. We don't have to act like we are OK, and hope that no one interrupts our performance as we immerse ourselves in sadness. Soon as you open your door, the sadness of the world is right there to greet you and fill you with despair, you don't even have to search, pain will find you. This is why its important that each of us, define what happiness means to us individually, without making the opinions of others points of reference we always consider before we make a move, to be bold enough to listen to our hearts and pursue our passions. Passions mirror to us what our souls need to be happy, this is why we find such fulfillment when we pursue them. So be honest with yourself, search your soul, forget about whats on the outside for a bit and tend to your inner being.

Nurse your heart, nurture your soul and nourish your mind with what brings you peace, then you would have unlocked the key to happiness. You wont have to look to others to do that for you, they will be adding to what already exists. 

Its all love :)

When you're alone all by yourself (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
And you're lying in your bed (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
Reflection stares right into you (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
Are you happy with yourself? (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)

You stripped away the masquerade (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
The illusion has been shed (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
Are you happy with yourself? (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
Are you happy with yourself? (pretty hurts, pretty hurts)

Let me in...

Can't you hear me knocking or should i break this door down?

 I have been out here in the cold awaiting your warm embrace. 

Your resistance is starting to tick me off, I can't for the life of me understand why you are doing this. 

You know how I love company but here you are refusing to open up to me.

 I have been at this door knocking hysterically, pleading to be let in but in the cold I remain.

Why wont you let me in...

I keep changing faces, transforming,evolving so you may not recognize me...cause then you would flee.

My patience is wearing thin and if I don't feed off of your energy soon, I may never have a hold on you again. You may start to welcome in that joy and happiness crap, we cant have that now can we?!

I'm lusting after that weak spirit of happiness that lies within you, 

that you hardly ever embrace because you and I are best of friends.

So what if I bring along baggage with each visit?

 Surely by now you have learned to deal and cope with all that us being friends and all...

The hate that harbors in the hearts of those that let me in, like the stench of rotting meat I linger on

Ensuring that nothing but worrying, pain and misery live there, you know I never come alone. 

The turmoil that follows soon after always puts a smirk on my face,its like icing on the cake really.

There's nothing like the comfort of a lonely spirit, where hope has departed and negativity reigns,

no amount of make up can disguise that sadness, it always pierces through.

As the hairs on the back of your neck raises and everything is in disarray I am gratified.

Anything to kill the silver lining try to bring some golden moments into your world.

If I allow that to happen soon after you will be floating on clouds and being all grateful and appreciative.

The thought of that alone sends shivers down my spine...oh wait I'm spineless, but you get the idea.

Come on just let me in... its starting to feel lonely out here, I need your acknowledgement.

Don't be put off by the baggage I bring, lets keep each other company.Nobody wants to be lonely, please just let me in that's all I ask. Let me in

WHERE IS SHE??

I used to know a place where I could find her, I would search and she would be there. Her smile would radiate such warmth that any room would light up she had a presence with her that would make even a commoner feel like royalty. The way she carried herself made purity appealing, sexy and enchanting. She always spoke her mind and shared herself with the world. Her face always displayed the love she felt and the love she shared with those around her, she understood herself.
In her eyes you could get lost and experience the many folds that represent her embedded soul, her face was an open display of all that she lives for and holds dear , the lines on her face represented the journey she has travelled. The times and places that captured her spirit once upon a time, her mouth spoke of all the love she had experienced all the men that loved her but never understood her. All the admirers that saw the cover but never bothered to read the book, the man that held her heart captive and brought the twinkle in her eye brought out her loving warm nature, he made her lose herself and be free. Now I look, wonder and search as I ask myself where she is? Where could she possibly have disappeared to?
All I see is fading tracks that suggest that she had been here, she once occupied this apace, dwelled in it and filled it with herself, her spirit, her captivating scent and her child like charm. She was gone now and nowhere to be found. Her presence has become memories of a life once lived, she ceased to exist her life was now a tall tale full of uncertainties. Her smile faded and the sparkle in her eyes was gone, the lines on her face now carried scars, wounds and broken promises that now envelope her existence. She once knew the yearnings of her soul, the deep desires that embodied her heart a fire that used to surround her and set her spirit alight had been reduced to ashes.
The men that once claimed to love her now sees her as frail old and cold, she was now an empty shell that had nothing to offer or so she thought. Her admirers had now turned into mockers that rejoiced and marvelled at her tortured soul, they hang around even when she didn’t want company when she desperately sought after solitude and peace of mind; they wouldn’t allow her to rest them posed questions that needed answers that only she could offer. This interrogation left her distraught she was weak, frail and scared.
Life has become a chore on a do to list a mundane task that takes away all her energy and doesn’t recharge her again. As she looked straight in the mirror and confronted herself she realised that she forgot herself, she looked at herself truthfully and honestly for the first time in a long time without preset opinions of what other people think she should be. She saw the positive that surrounded her and forgot about the negative they beat her down with. She stopped denying her age as she realised she was erasing all the memories that made her what she was, the lessons she learned and the discoveries that aided in some of her life’s decisions.
It dawned on her she had always been there, she had stopped a long time ago to see herself, spend time with herself and appreciate the wonder that she is. Once again she knew the answer to the question that desperately plagued her thoughts, she knew WHERE SHE WAS!

im so happy for you...not

its amazing how hard it is lately to be trully happy and share your emotions with your closest friends and loved ones about your life experinces and special moments.theres always feelings of bitterness,anger and hate just lingering in the air.when you display your true emotions you are seen as showing off and not being sensitive to other peoples feelings and their current situations,you have to underplay your joy cause you dont wanna hurt your friends feelings because she is having man issues...now you have to fake your happiness.its clear when you look at them how painful it is for them,how they wish it was them and how quick they are to point out to you yea we get it you are so happy...why so much hate??

there's reason a lot of people are so unhappy is because they are never trully happy for other people..their too full of resentment to invite happiness into their lives....so heres my thought stop hating and trying to shine on other peoples moments and just let them enjoy their special moments,in so doing you are opening the doors to your own joyous moments,besides these moments are usually short lived...