I am RUNNER...

This is what you look like after you have given your all to the streets, after you have released every inch of energy within you to enable you to move forward and make it to the finish line. Exhausted, energy depleted, wondering why you put yourself through all that, but glad that you did.

There is nothing like running, and before you start running you will never know the feeling, one feels fearless when they run, like anything and everything is possible, and whenever I lace up my shoes , I know that there Is a personal victory that awaits me. I run my own race, every time I go running I challenge myself to do better than I did before, to be stronger than I was yesterday and to not let doubt, overcome me.

I know that I have to let go of all that holds me back and give in, into running, succumb to the power that dwells within and allow it to take over, envelope me and strengthen me. This is a lifestyle choice I want to practice well into my old age, and also be able to pass it on to my girls. We will be a family that runs together, a few things are that precious. When  I started running four months ago, I would have never imagined that it would have brought me so much pleasure, seeing myself move from strength to strength as I  increase my pace has showed me that its not about how slow you start, its about the willingness to do it in the first place, not over thinking it, just doing it.

 I went from having to psyche myself up to go running to now, lacing up and running 5km without even giving it a second thought and for as long as I have mobility the streets will remain my gym, I will lace my shoes and lose myself to the freedom that comes with letting go and just being one with your inner self. Running!

Lost soul...

So my soul went missing a while back,don't remember the actual day I just know it just wasn't there anymore. For some reason I actually think it walked out on me, I suppose I stopped being attentive and it disappeared. I have since been on the quest , searching aimlessly trying to find this which makes me whole. I must say this has been an emotionally exhausting excursion I had even given up hope of ever finding my joy and today I saw it walk through the front door and sit right next to me.

I don't even think it walked in, waltzed in better describes the grand entrance I witnessed. I was in awe to say the least, for one I didn't think it would recognise me, my insecurities took over and instead of being joyful I became self conscious. My mind was flooded with thoughts that needed answers, but above all else reassurance. As it made itself feel at home and eased within me peace overcame me and without uttering a word all those insecurities were silenced. A ball of fire rose within me and for the first time in months I felt alive, I would have screamed at the top of my lungs but I'm not one for theatrics, its presence was all the comfort I needed.

As I embraced the flow of ink and the overwhelming surge of words and emotions it dawned on me, my soul never left me to begin with, it just transformed into a being I wasn't yet ready to embrace and celebrate. I had been blinded by my own stubbornness refusing to acknowledge this new voice within me that wanted so badly to be let out and heard. As I sat there in the quiet without expectations with silence came a new understanding and acceptance just when I needed it most, the blockage had been lifted.Turns out writing makes me happy to say the least and as I dwell in my Eden I have to say I'm happy to be alive. The walls are down a beam of light is piercing through unapologetic-ally and as the rays warm my cheeks I know I'm home, my voice has found me.