WHERE IS SHE??

I used to know a place where I could find her, I would search and she would be there. Her smile would radiate such warmth that any room would light up she had a presence with her that would make even a commoner feel like royalty. The way she carried herself made purity appealing, sexy and enchanting. She always spoke her mind and shared herself with the world. Her face always displayed the love she felt and the love she shared with those around her, she understood herself.
In her eyes you could get lost and experience the many folds that represent her embedded soul, her face was an open display of all that she lives for and holds dear , the lines on her face represented the journey she has travelled. The times and places that captured her spirit once upon a time, her mouth spoke of all the love she had experienced all the men that loved her but never understood her. All the admirers that saw the cover but never bothered to read the book, the man that held her heart captive and brought the twinkle in her eye brought out her loving warm nature, he made her lose herself and be free. Now I look, wonder and search as I ask myself where she is? Where could she possibly have disappeared to?
All I see is fading tracks that suggest that she had been here, she once occupied this apace, dwelled in it and filled it with herself, her spirit, her captivating scent and her child like charm. She was gone now and nowhere to be found. Her presence has become memories of a life once lived, she ceased to exist her life was now a tall tale full of uncertainties. Her smile faded and the sparkle in her eyes was gone, the lines on her face now carried scars, wounds and broken promises that now envelope her existence. She once knew the yearnings of her soul, the deep desires that embodied her heart a fire that used to surround her and set her spirit alight had been reduced to ashes.
The men that once claimed to love her now sees her as frail old and cold, she was now an empty shell that had nothing to offer or so she thought. Her admirers had now turned into mockers that rejoiced and marvelled at her tortured soul, they hang around even when she didn’t want company when she desperately sought after solitude and peace of mind; they wouldn’t allow her to rest them posed questions that needed answers that only she could offer. This interrogation left her distraught she was weak, frail and scared.
Life has become a chore on a do to list a mundane task that takes away all her energy and doesn’t recharge her again. As she looked straight in the mirror and confronted herself she realised that she forgot herself, she looked at herself truthfully and honestly for the first time in a long time without preset opinions of what other people think she should be. She saw the positive that surrounded her and forgot about the negative they beat her down with. She stopped denying her age as she realised she was erasing all the memories that made her what she was, the lessons she learned and the discoveries that aided in some of her life’s decisions.
It dawned on her she had always been there, she had stopped a long time ago to see herself, spend time with herself and appreciate the wonder that she is. Once again she knew the answer to the question that desperately plagued her thoughts, she knew WHERE SHE WAS!

human or mutant

Im having one of those days and thinking about all the people in my life and how i relate to them and for the most part ive come to one conclusion its too damn hard to relate to people.if they not imposing their thoughts and ideas on you they are bullying you into doing what they want and if you dont,they will tell you how you have changed or how you dont love them anymore.then its the entitlement problem that people suffer from- they dont have to ask you about anything that relates to you or thats yours be it your resources,time whatever it may be because its alredy a given.
The fact that you are in each others lives simply means that they have access to what you have including you.so they dont have to ask and the two of you being blak and all thats a plus.

then there's those freaks that have the general misconception that we think the same way conduct our lives, households and behave the same way that they do, and when they are rudely awakened to the fact that you have a functioning brain, they cannot comprehend it-their brains shut down a buffer forms arround their brains that doesnt allow anything that resembles sense they go into "unreasonable-illogical mode" , and if whatever you say doent at any point feature in their manual on how you are supposed to act nothing you say will make sense to them.

theres that bunch that hasnt decided what is it that they want or the type of person they are,they have the groupie mentality they too busy being other people that they cant be the star player in their own lives,they wold rather be featured in another persons life than deal with themselves. their personalities change like a woman who has PMS you never know what is it you going to do or say thats going to set them off the rails,its hard to see things the same way or reach common ground on life,situations,decisions and generally on everyday things.if you have your own way of doing things that does not fall in with their ideal then you are screwed,prepare yourself for a screaming match of sorts.

i suppose thats why white people love animals-cause once you have trained them they will remain loyal to you because they understand you ,your likes and dislikes.they will react the same way evaryday all day.Dont get me wrong im not saying that people arent allowed to change their minds but they dont do so with minimal things that you cant just get over in 5min its usually big stuff that have you wanting to cuss someone out. and the annoying part is even if you try to show them your point of view and explain why they got you in a frenzy, they too hard headed to listen to reason.
i have in my time lost a number of friends ,relatives and boyfriends-some of the couldnt deal with the fact that i know what i want and how i want it.im not saying my way is always the right way but he comes a time in a persons life when you know and understand yourself , where you have decided what is it you will tolerate , accept or work with. and if all you ever deal with its people that make you want to relocate to antarctica so you can get peace of mind and never have to deal with their neurotic tantrums or get you stressed becase you know nothing they say will ever make you smile then by all means avoid them you simply dont need the headache or heartache.i believe that emotions are the things that screw us over-the very same things that makes us human are the same ones that put us at a disadvantage-they tend to cloud reason and judgement

relationships get so complex that you can never be frank with people you always have to pussy foot around them ,because reality is a far fetched ideal.an the many titles that people hold in yor life also play a role(mom,dad,bro,sis,gilfriend,hubby,friend,wife) you have to keep those in mind apart from other factors such as emotions,respect and sensitivity.im not canvasing that people should be obnoxious,rude and unbecoming but if it calls for it then why the hell not?? why should there be restrictions and threats of your "membership" being cancelled from their society.

we all going to have our fair number of friends and enemies and for the most part you hope that the friends will out number the enemies and if the latter applies then you simply know that you always did what is right just and fair to accomodate people and if they chose to be un accomodating about the type and kind of person that you are,ooh well maybe next life time.people expect certain things from others that they themselves would never stand for, and your opposition to the madness result in total alienation and name calling nothing new one of the many "pleasures" of dealing with people

truth is we dont have the manual to handling humans you just trust your insticnts and use what you have learnt throughout the years and hope that it wont offend anyone and by the grace of God someone will first seek understanding before passing judgement.i guess the only thing we cant do is better oneself and hope that what you do nd how you act will rub off on those around you..;)