Monday, July 5, 2010



WE CAN LEARN FROM KIDS AS ADULTS...

They are in my opinion by far one of Gods precious gifts, there is just something about them that gets you all warm and fuzzy inside, whether they are yours or belong to someone else unless you hate kids of course then the above mentioned does not apply to you. I love kids I've always loved them I believe they are little angels walking on earth because for some reason they have the ability to comfort you in the best possible way without even saying a word. God works through them.

Kids are also the most honest people you will ever encounter in your life –whilst they are still young anyway before they get to understand the world and its ways, you can count on a kid to always tell you their state of mind whether you agree with it or not , that is not the point. In psychology it is believed that 2year olds display a healthy set of emotions without inhibitions than any adult walking the earth, they are able to show you how they feel without pretending, they never hold anything back or bottle up any emotions, when something bothers them you will know about it right there and then not two weeks later , the way adults operate we wait to reach boiling point before the next person gets to understand that what they did offended you or hurt you in some way or the other, it can be said to a certain extent that kids have Emotional Intelligence-describes the ability, capacity, skill or a self-perceived grand ability to identify, assess, manage and control the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. I am not saying they posses all the skills as the explanation states they are however able to identify their emotions as they happen, they won't be angry and display approval and contentment about what has occurred, fake smile their way through conversations so that they don't upset anyone or be forced to agree with what has been said, they will let you know how they feel without flinching.

They are able to do this because they don't know of the many social restraints that adults are faced with on a day to day basis, they are still learning how the world operates and that certain behavior is frowned upon in some societies even if it's acceptable in other societies. It is our jobs as parents to put a lid on those emotions and to control how they should behave when they are in the company of others and shut down any sign of honest and genuine emotion, we might also be feeling at the time ourselves because society considers it taboo, and so begins the path to destruction.

A number of parents (adults) may differ with the following statement, from the minute babies are born we want to turn them into adults and most times we do it unconsciously, we speed up their growth and expect them to behave like adults, mothers are most guilty of this not to say that fathers don't do it but we all know the influence that a mother has on her family, with that said in other societies it's the complete opposite. We see the potential that each kid has and all that they can become when they are older, whilst this child is still in diapers and we try to cultivate that talent and turn it into something big. In some cases we still away their childhood because some of us have forgotten how being a child is like, what having fun is all about regardless of the fact that you have company or not.

What is it about growing up/getting old that steals away all the innocence that you once had as a child? Can it solely be blamed on society and all that we get to see and experience in the world? Can an adult be forever young in spirit without being mental and disregarding all the adult duties and responsibilities? Is it possible for one to achieve this without being irrational and illogical, is being young linked to child-like behaviors and attitudes that get numerous tags, labels and stigmas in the adult world. Why as people do we always remind people to act their age when they display a certain trait of youth? (By youth I'm not talking about being irresponsible, reckless in behavior by escaping being an adult and reliving your childhood) I'm talking about following your hearts desires buying a bike if you want it and feeling good about it because it is not linked to a midlife crisis, it's your own expression of being free and liberated like a child. Following your dreams without the presence of people who act like wet blankets that discourage and talk down anything and everything that is important to you mainly because society decided it was childish. Most of the time we discourage in others the very things that we are interested in ourselves and don't have the courage to pursue, so it becomes easier to shut down that flickering candle in another person's life.

The things that I value most about kids a few and in between but they are in my books some of the best qualities you could ever posses as an adult: honesty, laughter, fearlessness, unconditional love and complete trust. How many of us as adults can honestly say that we posses these qualities or have people in our lives that live by them, we are preoccupied with appearances , showing off and having one up on our friends that we fail to see the bigger picture.

I guess we can spend more time with our kids some of their good nature will rub off on us; we will become better role models and mentors. In essence if you really think about it being an adult does not equal having the monopoly on life and it certainly doesn't mean you always know what you are doing. So here's some solid good advice aspire to have the heart of a child free of malice and full of love, be spontaneous and have fun. Show those that you love how much you love them, give them a hug, no one is ever too old for one of those and most importantly laugh more often and with your heart, learn to give in and allow positivity to rule your life. BE FOREVER YOUNG!




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Sunday, July 4, 2010

WOMEN WARS...


We are known as the fairer sex, believed to be beautiful, sensitive, caring, thoughtful, loving, considerate humble and conservative, prudent. When looking at all of the values /characteristics I listed above only few women can be found to posses them. The things that our mothers and their mothers before them used to pride themselves by are the very things that the modern women are against and trying by all means to steer away from .it is true that times have changed and that we were exposed to things that our mothers only got to experience later on in life, and also they didn’t enjoy the freedom that the modern woman now enjoys. With that said the collective pride that women have to have has gone to the dogs. We have reached a point in time where man can bad mouth us, look down on us and they would be justified. We expect respect but we don’t have respect for ourselves and fellow women.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always wondered why women hate other women, why would a woman be nice to your man in your presence and totally disregard you as though you are less than dirt. The only way a woman will be nice to you is if she doesn’t consider you a threat to her or her this few that act decent regardless of the fact that they don’t know you from a bar of soap. Growing up my oldest cousins had this close sisterly bond that made me wish I had an older sister; they were as thick as thieves supported each other through anything and everything and confided in each other about whatever was weighing heavy on the other one. Naively I thought this was the general relationship between each and every women, that there is a sorority of some sort something that resembles the movie “the sisterhood of the travelling pants” boy was I wrong. Thinking back on all my girlfriends as I was growing up the relationship we had I realise now that a lot of those relationships only lasted that long because I was a kid and I wanted to have playmates, if we were to be friends now we would never get along, as a lot of them we didn’t have anything in common and their general conduct is totally different to how I am right now. With growing up you realise that if as a woman you want to have other women in your life they must be people that are going to mould you to be better, correct you when you are on the wrong path and always look out for your best interests.

Less can be said about woman’s relationships nowadays, majority of them are founded on jealousy, envy and competition. We rejoice at the sight of one of sisters being disappointed, getting their hearts broken and generally failing with regards to achieving what they set their hearts on doing, them succeeding means that the spotlight is now removed from us and we can’t all look good, someone has to be a “LOSER”. All this escalates when man are involved, we become vicious, spiteful, manipulative and vengeful. Men despite their faults and whatever else that we manage to blame them for they have a brotherhood that in most cases if it’s true, real and sincere it won’t be infiltrated by a woman, That’s what we need as women to stop seeing each other as enemies but friends but the key ingredient lacking is loyalty.
I don’t have that many girlfriends in my life purely by choice, experience has taught me that people aren’t what they always seem and if you let anyone get close to you and know the inner workings of your life let it be someone who more to lose than you or who is on the same level as you. Smiles don’t always mean a happy heart, so know your friends, rate them and put restrictions on them. For instance if you know your girl is a bed hopper it will be foolish of you ask her to look after your man whilst you are away, not that you don’t trust her with him but you merely limiting the opportunity and not flirting with the devil. Most women are loyal to themselves regardless of the friendship you might share with them and others stick closer to you that a brother and sometimes we are unable to detect the friend from the frenemy , and until a person can prove themselves “trustworthy” keep them at arm’s length. Regardless of how bad women’s relationships are lately and how we are always in cohesion whether we know each other or not there are still good women out there who have respect for thyself and for others and these are the women who one should associate themselves with.

Maybe one day we will get to a point where women will empathize with each other and we will be able to have bonds stronger that men and not feel threatened when we see a beautiful women enter a room and subject her to name calling without knowing her from a bar of soap. Until then we remain best of enemies. men don’t trust women, women don’t trust women, so who trusts women???