There it is, I AM one hell of a mom, the ecards people have declared it, if it’s on the Internet then it must be true, everybody knows that. Sticky floors, messy kitchen, laundry pile, dirty oven and HAPPY kids. That was the state of our little haven when we all walked in from work and school yesterday, after the long day I had I was hoping that I will open the door and someone would have deployed an army of elf's to go clean my house, to my disappointment the house was still in the messy state I left it in the morning, and nothing quite says welcome home like everything being all over the place. *teary eyes*

The funny thing is that when I walked through the door I was actually shocked that the house was THAT dirty, I couldn't understand it. The day had kicked my ass that much that I now had dissociative amnesia. So I got in grossed out by how messy "we “ (Soprano &the girls) all are put down my bag amongst the clutter and went to the bathroom in search of strength, it must be hiding in there somewhere, cause as I stood there I was running on empty. There is something about dirt and the sound of little girls high pitched voices that just doesn’t go together, the dirtier the house is, the louder their voices seem to get in my head, at some point it felt as though the two of them were sitting on my shoulders screaming into my ears, good gosh where’s my glass of wine…

As luck would have it there’s no wine in the house, adding further insult to injury, there goes the last bit of strength that was hanging on by a thread… ahem. I felt my knees getting weaker as I walked to the kitchen to put on the kettle to make coffee for us, driving out to go get wine pretty much feels like another a chore at this point, we just want to sit down and worm out. Luckily we had leftovers from last night so I needn't worry myself with preparing dinner, there's enough for everyone to eat, and as it turns out I am not particularly hungry. I don't actually ever worry about dinner lately, unless if I want to prepare something special, Soprano usually makes dinner while I sort out everything else, WINNING. Also on the weekends that I work, I come home to a cooked meal and a glass of wine, another WIN.

The reason we are all subjected to all this torment is because I don't have a helper anymore, somewhere in between the course of us working together she thought that I was her employee, don't know when did that role reversal happen, or when the wires got crossed but quite frankly I wasn't happy with the arrangement. I won’t lie life would be a lot easier with a helper but I would rather have peace of mind and a messy home any day than a clean home that comes with a helper with a bad attitude . My OCD will just have to be strong and deal shem. I am not averse to the idea of getting a helper, I am just going to pray about it for a couple of weeks and ask God to please send me someone who will stay in their lane, can’t be constantly up in arms with someone who is supposedly helping me…so for now I just have to deal.

The house is not always in this state as my work days are flexible, actually its rarely like this, despite the fact that there’s an unruly soon to be 2yrs old and an opinionated 4 ½yr old roaming around, otherwise I would have lost my mind a long time ago. I cannot function in clutter, I need everything in its place marked, labelled and facing the right way, but since I have them and their darling father I don’t always get my way, so I find myself most of the time. As luck would have it  I don’t work Monday to Friday thank the Lord, so I am able to be home some days during the week and just sort everything out and the kids are at school, so that’s like vacation time for me.

The house was finally clean, laundry drying on the rail, kids sticky free and  already sleeping.Even though my energy levels were totally depleted and we didn’t  run the day off like we had planned, we still found some other ways to sweat it out, now that’s the kind of mess I don’t mind J, the kind of mess that makes for very HAPPY and relaxed parents, and that my friends is the true definiton of …WINNING!!!