THE UGLY TRUTH!

The more that you grow up and interact in the world the more you realize that the truth is taboo, and speaking the truth will land you in hot water. With that said though we need truth and honesty in our lives, regardless of how unpopular it is. The thing with the truth is that there is no excitement to it, its brutal and unfriendly that is why most of us shy away from it. A loved one once said to me the truth is short, there are no plots or layers to it, that’s why humans don’t ever want to hear it, and unlike lies that have a life of their own once they are put out there in the open. The truth remains constant and unchanging you can’t add on to it or take away from it, it is what it is.

People prefer lies, we much rather be lied to than face up to the boring truth with its simplicity and plainness’, there isn’t any adventure nor popularity to it. isn’t it funny though that the one thing that is supposed to gain you friends and make you an asset to whoever is in your life is the one thing that makes you an ogre that everyone is afraid of? So as people we leave it alone because everyone knows you don’t wake a sleeping bear. There comes a time though when telling the truth is all that you have, all that could save a life be it from ending or destructing, that’s where you need to bite the bullet and hope to God that one day the person will realize that it wasn’t out of malicious intent but because you cared enough about them o be real with them.

The world is so full of fakeness that being real makes you the odd one out, we live in times where you need to suck up to people to get ahead, have food on your table, make friends and even keep people In your life, otherwise you will be the one left to suffer. On occasion you will come across people who share your insights and boy is that a breath of fresh air that even your brain cannot comprehend the realism, that you yourself end up thinking you are been taken on a ride that you never signed up for. I do realize that there are times when the truth will do more harm than good and I personally believe if whatever you disclose to a person will cause them more harm than good then rather contribute to their good health and keep what you know to yourself, because sooner or later whatever they don’t know will be made public just don’t be caught in the line of fire. Lies need ore lies to grow and flourish they can’t develop in secret and hiding that is why even when people claim to have kept a secret it always finds its way out, and for you to keep it in captivity for longer you need to put more guards(lies) on the job to keep it at bay. Being human it is expect that we will always choose actions that will bring us more pleasure than punishment, even if it’s at our detriment at the best of times, and as we linger on to be soothed and caressed by the lies we tell ourselves we still get hurt and devastated when it all blows up in our faces, because we had hoped that the lie had a longer life span.

The truth is hard to swallow because of its bitter nature and whilst it’s claimed that it will set you free, it won’t do so without suffering. There is nothing worthwhile in this world that ever comes easy or without stepping on people’s toes, be it directly or indirectly, fairly or unfairly. Is it realistic then to expect people to be honest with us when it has been proven for years that expecting fairness, honesty and integrity won’t get you anywhere in this soiled world we occupy. Should we live our lives expecting the worst of people and hoping for the best will that then make the truth less hurtful because we have already conditioned our minds for the worst case scenario?? As I write this I realize that asking for the truth won’t always bring me joy nor peace of mind and sometimes it is comforting to bask in the warmth of lies and allow its numerous delusions envelope you and keep you warm, like pissing on yourself so is living in lies you will be warm (happy) for those few minutes soon as the cold air(truth) comes and the heat(lies) escapes ,you will have to deal with the nasty stain on your pants. In the end we all have to face up to what is out there….the truth

WE CAN LEARN FROM KIDS AS ADULTS...

They are in my opinion by far one of Gods precious gifts, there is just something about them that gets you all warm and fuzzy inside, whether they are yours or belong to someone else unless you hate kids of course then the above mentioned does not apply to you. I love kids I've always loved them I believe they are little angels walking on earth because for some reason they have the ability to comfort you in the best possible way without even saying a word. God works through them.

Kids are also the most honest people you will ever encounter in your life –whilst they are still young anyway before they get to understand the world and its ways, you can count on a kid to always tell you their state of mind whether you agree with it or not , that is not the point. In psychology it is believed that 2year olds display a healthy set of emotions without inhibitions than any adult walking the earth, they are able to show you how they feel without pretending, they never hold anything back or bottle up any emotions, when something bothers them you will know about it right there and then not two weeks later , the way adults operate we wait to reach boiling point before the next person gets to understand that what they did offended you or hurt you in some way or the other, it can be said to a certain extent that kids have Emotional Intelligence-describes the ability, capacity, skill or a self-perceived grand ability to identify, assess, manage and control the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. I am not saying they posses all the skills as the explanation states they are however able to identify their emotions as they happen, they won't be angry and display approval and contentment about what has occurred, fake smile their way through conversations so that they don't upset anyone or be forced to agree with what has been said, they will let you know how they feel without flinching.

They are able to do this because they don't know of the many social restraints that adults are faced with on a day to day basis, they are still learning how the world operates and that certain behavior is frowned upon in some societies even if it's acceptable in other societies. It is our jobs as parents to put a lid on those emotions and to control how they should behave when they are in the company of others and shut down any sign of honest and genuine emotion, we might also be feeling at the time ourselves because society considers it taboo, and so begins the path to destruction.

A number of parents (adults) may differ with the following statement, from the minute babies are born we want to turn them into adults and most times we do it unconsciously, we speed up their growth and expect them to behave like adults, mothers are most guilty of this not to say that fathers don't do it but we all know the influence that a mother has on her family, with that said in other societies it's the complete opposite. We see the potential that each kid has and all that they can become when they are older, whilst this child is still in diapers and we try to cultivate that talent and turn it into something big. In some cases we still away their childhood because some of us have forgotten how being a child is like, what having fun is all about regardless of the fact that you have company or not.

What is it about growing up/getting old that steals away all the innocence that you once had as a child? Can it solely be blamed on society and all that we get to see and experience in the world? Can an adult be forever young in spirit without being mental and disregarding all the adult duties and responsibilities? Is it possible for one to achieve this without being irrational and illogical, is being young linked to child-like behaviors and attitudes that get numerous tags, labels and stigmas in the adult world. Why as people do we always remind people to act their age when they display a certain trait of youth? (By youth I'm not talking about being irresponsible, reckless in behavior by escaping being an adult and reliving your childhood) I'm talking about following your hearts desires buying a bike if you want it and feeling good about it because it is not linked to a midlife crisis, it's your own expression of being free and liberated like a child. Following your dreams without the presence of people who act like wet blankets that discourage and talk down anything and everything that is important to you mainly because society decided it was childish. Most of the time we discourage in others the very things that we are interested in ourselves and don't have the courage to pursue, so it becomes easier to shut down that flickering candle in another person's life.

The things that I value most about kids a few and in between but they are in my books some of the best qualities you could ever posses as an adult: honesty, laughter, fearlessness, unconditional love and complete trust. How many of us as adults can honestly say that we posses these qualities or have people in our lives that live by them, we are preoccupied with appearances , showing off and having one up on our friends that we fail to see the bigger picture.

I guess we can spend more time with our kids some of their good nature will rub off on us; we will become better role models and mentors. In essence if you really think about it being an adult does not equal having the monopoly on life and it certainly doesn't mean you always know what you are doing. So here's some solid good advice aspire to have the heart of a child free of malice and full of love, be spontaneous and have fun. Show those that you love how much you love them, give them a hug, no one is ever too old for one of those and most importantly laugh more often and with your heart, learn to give in and allow positivity to rule your life. BE FOREVER YOUNG!

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WOMEN WARS...

We are known as the fairer sex, believed to be beautiful, sensitive, caring, thoughtful, loving, considerate humble and conservative, prudent. When looking at all of the values /characteristics I listed above only few women can be found to posses them. The things that our mothers and their mothers before them used to pride themselves by are the very things that the modern women are against and trying by all means to steer away from .it is true that times have changed and that we were exposed to things that our mothers only got to experience later on in life, and also they didn’t enjoy the freedom that the modern woman now enjoys. With that said the collective pride that women have to have has gone to the dogs. We have reached a point in time where man can bad mouth us, look down on us and they would be justified. We expect respect but we don’t have respect for ourselves and fellow women.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always wondered why women hate other women, why would a woman be nice to your man in your presence and totally disregard you as though you are less than dirt. The only way a woman will be nice to you is if she doesn’t consider you a threat to her or her this few that act decent regardless of the fact that they don’t know you from a bar of soap. Growing up my oldest cousins had this close sisterly bond that made me wish I had an older sister; they were as thick as thieves supported each other through anything and everything and confided in each other about whatever was weighing heavy on the other one. Naively I thought this was the general relationship between each and every women, that there is a sorority of some sort something that resembles the movie “the sisterhood of the travelling pants” boy was I wrong. Thinking back on all my girlfriends as I was growing up the relationship we had I realise now that a lot of those relationships only lasted that long because I was a kid and I wanted to have playmates, if we were to be friends now we would never get along, as a lot of them we didn’t have anything in common and their general conduct is totally different to how I am right now. With growing up you realise that if as a woman you want to have other women in your life they must be people that are going to mould you to be better, correct you when you are on the wrong path and always look out for your best interests.

Less can be said about woman’s relationships nowadays, majority of them are founded on jealousy, envy and competition. We rejoice at the sight of one of sisters being disappointed, getting their hearts broken and generally failing with regards to achieving what they set their hearts on doing, them succeeding means that the spotlight is now removed from us and we can’t all look good, someone has to be a “LOSER”. All this escalates when man are involved, we become vicious, spiteful, manipulative and vengeful. Men despite their faults and whatever else that we manage to blame them for they have a brotherhood that in most cases if it’s true, real and sincere it won’t be infiltrated by a woman, That’s what we need as women to stop seeing each other as enemies but friends but the key ingredient lacking is loyalty.
I don’t have that many girlfriends in my life purely by choice, experience has taught me that people aren’t what they always seem and if you let anyone get close to you and know the inner workings of your life let it be someone who more to lose than you or who is on the same level as you. Smiles don’t always mean a happy heart, so know your friends, rate them and put restrictions on them. For instance if you know your girl is a bed hopper it will be foolish of you ask her to look after your man whilst you are away, not that you don’t trust her with him but you merely limiting the opportunity and not flirting with the devil. Most women are loyal to themselves regardless of the friendship you might share with them and others stick closer to you that a brother and sometimes we are unable to detect the friend from the frenemy , and until a person can prove themselves “trustworthy” keep them at arm’s length. Regardless of how bad women’s relationships are lately and how we are always in cohesion whether we know each other or not there are still good women out there who have respect for thyself and for others and these are the women who one should associate themselves with.

Maybe one day we will get to a point where women will empathize with each other and we will be able to have bonds stronger that men and not feel threatened when we see a beautiful women enter a room and subject her to name calling without knowing her from a bar of soap. Until then we remain best of enemies. men don’t trust women, women don’t trust women, so who trusts women???

WHERE IS SHE??

I used to know a place where I could find her, I would search and she would be there. Her smile would radiate such warmth that any room would light up she had a presence with her that would make even a commoner feel like royalty. The way she carried herself made purity appealing, sexy and enchanting. She always spoke her mind and shared herself with the world. Her face always displayed the love she felt and the love she shared with those around her, she understood herself.
In her eyes you could get lost and experience the many folds that represent her embedded soul, her face was an open display of all that she lives for and holds dear , the lines on her face represented the journey she has travelled. The times and places that captured her spirit once upon a time, her mouth spoke of all the love she had experienced all the men that loved her but never understood her. All the admirers that saw the cover but never bothered to read the book, the man that held her heart captive and brought the twinkle in her eye brought out her loving warm nature, he made her lose herself and be free. Now I look, wonder and search as I ask myself where she is? Where could she possibly have disappeared to?
All I see is fading tracks that suggest that she had been here, she once occupied this apace, dwelled in it and filled it with herself, her spirit, her captivating scent and her child like charm. She was gone now and nowhere to be found. Her presence has become memories of a life once lived, she ceased to exist her life was now a tall tale full of uncertainties. Her smile faded and the sparkle in her eyes was gone, the lines on her face now carried scars, wounds and broken promises that now envelope her existence. She once knew the yearnings of her soul, the deep desires that embodied her heart a fire that used to surround her and set her spirit alight had been reduced to ashes.
The men that once claimed to love her now sees her as frail old and cold, she was now an empty shell that had nothing to offer or so she thought. Her admirers had now turned into mockers that rejoiced and marvelled at her tortured soul, they hang around even when she didn’t want company when she desperately sought after solitude and peace of mind; they wouldn’t allow her to rest them posed questions that needed answers that only she could offer. This interrogation left her distraught she was weak, frail and scared.
Life has become a chore on a do to list a mundane task that takes away all her energy and doesn’t recharge her again. As she looked straight in the mirror and confronted herself she realised that she forgot herself, she looked at herself truthfully and honestly for the first time in a long time without preset opinions of what other people think she should be. She saw the positive that surrounded her and forgot about the negative they beat her down with. She stopped denying her age as she realised she was erasing all the memories that made her what she was, the lessons she learned and the discoveries that aided in some of her life’s decisions.
It dawned on her she had always been there, she had stopped a long time ago to see herself, spend time with herself and appreciate the wonder that she is. Once again she knew the answer to the question that desperately plagued her thoughts, she knew WHERE SHE WAS!

human or mutant

Im having one of those days and thinking about all the people in my life and how i relate to them and for the most part ive come to one conclusion its too damn hard to relate to people.if they not imposing their thoughts and ideas on you they are bullying you into doing what they want and if you dont,they will tell you how you have changed or how you dont love them anymore.then its the entitlement problem that people suffer from- they dont have to ask you about anything that relates to you or thats yours be it your resources,time whatever it may be because its alredy a given.
The fact that you are in each others lives simply means that they have access to what you have including you.so they dont have to ask and the two of you being blak and all thats a plus.

then there's those freaks that have the general misconception that we think the same way conduct our lives, households and behave the same way that they do, and when they are rudely awakened to the fact that you have a functioning brain, they cannot comprehend it-their brains shut down a buffer forms arround their brains that doesnt allow anything that resembles sense they go into "unreasonable-illogical mode" , and if whatever you say doent at any point feature in their manual on how you are supposed to act nothing you say will make sense to them.

theres that bunch that hasnt decided what is it that they want or the type of person they are,they have the groupie mentality they too busy being other people that they cant be the star player in their own lives,they wold rather be featured in another persons life than deal with themselves. their personalities change like a woman who has PMS you never know what is it you going to do or say thats going to set them off the rails,its hard to see things the same way or reach common ground on life,situations,decisions and generally on everyday things.if you have your own way of doing things that does not fall in with their ideal then you are screwed,prepare yourself for a screaming match of sorts.

i suppose thats why white people love animals-cause once you have trained them they will remain loyal to you because they understand you ,your likes and dislikes.they will react the same way evaryday all day.Dont get me wrong im not saying that people arent allowed to change their minds but they dont do so with minimal things that you cant just get over in 5min its usually big stuff that have you wanting to cuss someone out. and the annoying part is even if you try to show them your point of view and explain why they got you in a frenzy, they too hard headed to listen to reason.
i have in my time lost a number of friends ,relatives and boyfriends-some of the couldnt deal with the fact that i know what i want and how i want it.im not saying my way is always the right way but he comes a time in a persons life when you know and understand yourself , where you have decided what is it you will tolerate , accept or work with. and if all you ever deal with its people that make you want to relocate to antarctica so you can get peace of mind and never have to deal with their neurotic tantrums or get you stressed becase you know nothing they say will ever make you smile then by all means avoid them you simply dont need the headache or heartache.i believe that emotions are the things that screw us over-the very same things that makes us human are the same ones that put us at a disadvantage-they tend to cloud reason and judgement

relationships get so complex that you can never be frank with people you always have to pussy foot around them ,because reality is a far fetched ideal.an the many titles that people hold in yor life also play a role(mom,dad,bro,sis,gilfriend,hubby,friend,wife) you have to keep those in mind apart from other factors such as emotions,respect and sensitivity.im not canvasing that people should be obnoxious,rude and unbecoming but if it calls for it then why the hell not?? why should there be restrictions and threats of your "membership" being cancelled from their society.

we all going to have our fair number of friends and enemies and for the most part you hope that the friends will out number the enemies and if the latter applies then you simply know that you always did what is right just and fair to accomodate people and if they chose to be un accomodating about the type and kind of person that you are,ooh well maybe next life time.people expect certain things from others that they themselves would never stand for, and your opposition to the madness result in total alienation and name calling nothing new one of the many "pleasures" of dealing with people

truth is we dont have the manual to handling humans you just trust your insticnts and use what you have learnt throughout the years and hope that it wont offend anyone and by the grace of God someone will first seek understanding before passing judgement.i guess the only thing we cant do is better oneself and hope that what you do nd how you act will rub off on those around you..;)

Love or sex??

I was facebookin earlier today and i saw a status by some gal sayn"she wants to fuck for fun"that comment had me thnking.more and more women are expressing such views lately,they are breaking the norm,following their desires and to a point acting like "men".
are men to blame for the recent actions of women?or hav we always been this way we just plucked up enough courage to be ourselfs or are we just lying to ourselves by thnking such behaviour wil ever be acceptable by society.
it is clear that of late women go into relationships just for the pleasure of sexual pleasure,where they dont expect love,kids,a house a cat,dog and a goldfish..they are just after the thrill of an encounter with a man they probably just met.
for the other majority that want what society expects us to have as a true definition of a well balanced life,what matters to them most in relationships??and if people were made to choose between LOVE AND SEX which one would they place the most value on.would they rather be with someone whom they love and who loves them back bt doesnt reli satisfy their sexual needs or they would rather hav the best sex dependin on what that entails for each individual and minimal emotinal fulfilment.
are we driven by the same thngs as men and women or are somethngs due to preferance,enviroment or nature.do we all gravitate towards the same thngs and is itthe response that differs?for that select few that have the best of both worlds what secrets arent they sharin with everyone else.will we eva get to a point where wmen wont be crucified for their sexuality and men nt mocked for their comitnent to1woman.wil we eva live to see the day were our eyebrows wnt be raised when a woman says she just wants to "fuck for fun" n nt atribute her decision to low morals,bad influence or delusion.or is that all farfetched?

the green monster

We all knw that feeling that everyone gets but no one proudly admits to.at times its hard to figure out or evn undastand when is it acceptable for a person to display this feeling.even though that is the case it has been associated with other strong feelings-love,anger,hate,envy,lust to name but a few.
it is somehow expected and strangely accepted if you love someone and you display it every once in a while.the problem only starts when it is displayed in large volumes,when it takes over ones life,their thought processes,decision makin and general relation to others.Can jealousy be a higher form of love,the whole belief that too much love will kill you or ir that statement misguided on its own.love is caring and kind and any negative emotion or action that people associate with love represents somethng else..anyway..a number of reasons have been given for this erratic behaviour,a lot of the times people are jealous of you because they envy what you have and thus wish they were in your shoes.with that being said how do u continue to relate to people who in essence wish everythng that you have,every good thing happening to you was happening to them?

can love really look beyond human error or in reality no one is trully ever happy for another,people pretend so good that their fake smiles gurantee us they are truly genuine with us,or we just overlook the obvious because we care about the relationshps we have and we fear being alone in the world. on the surface should we be "flattered" when someone is jealous of us is it a deep sighted way of saying you are on the right track?
or should it be a warning sign that one should cut their losses,although it might be cute now it will surely end in disaster.or is jealousy one of the truest reflection of how people really feel and everything else in between is faked?

caught up!!

its amazing how the older you get the harder it is to trully voice your thoughts and share your opinions.you some how have to learn to find a vessel that you will use to somehow clear your conscious and filter your soul,a vessel only known to you,and at the best of times it doesnt help your mental and emotional healing.its a temporary solution to an ongoing need to connect and relate to someone,if everything was to pile up without ever being unloaded somewhere even if its not much,we will all be walking time bombs

as hard as it is to be real and trully vocal it is even harder to be vocal with our loved ones.you feel carrying the daily burdens on your own ,wil l make them less real as you dont have to relive them each time you share them with someone..sooner rather than later the silence becomes too much for you to handle,still u suffer in solitude.caught up with no escape,who will stop to look long enough to realise your falling apart and save you from your mental slavery...rescue pending till then you remain caught up

im so happy for you...not

its amazing how hard it is lately to be trully happy and share your emotions with your closest friends and loved ones about your life experinces and special moments.theres always feelings of bitterness,anger and hate just lingering in the air.when you display your true emotions you are seen as showing off and not being sensitive to other peoples feelings and their current situations,you have to underplay your joy cause you dont wanna hurt your friends feelings because she is having man issues...now you have to fake your happiness.its clear when you look at them how painful it is for them,how they wish it was them and how quick they are to point out to you yea we get it you are so happy...why so much hate??

there's reason a lot of people are so unhappy is because they are never trully happy for other people..their too full of resentment to invite happiness into their lives....so heres my thought stop hating and trying to shine on other peoples moments and just let them enjoy their special moments,in so doing you are opening the doors to your own joyous moments,besides these moments are usually short lived...